Diary Of A Pregnant Dad ★★★☆☆

Review of 'Diary Of A Pregnant Dad' which can be found here on YouTube. 

Length: 03:57

Written & directed by Joseph Monahan & Callum Smith

Genre: Music Video

Date: 2012
Rating: ★★★☆☆

Logline: Music video for 4-Eyez (feat. Callum Smith)

This is a fun little ditty, which is playful and humorous. Whether this is an amateur musician trying to make it pro or someone just mucking about, is another question. The level of audio equipment being used tells us that this guy means business but the easy listening style and tone of the music means it's hard to take this very seriously. 4-Eyes does however come off as a multi-skilled artist as we see him take the helm and pretty much do all of the instruments, singing and probably everything else too. 

Good quality video equipment gives us a clean and crisp look on screen with nice bright colouring and good lighting. But mimicking the in house music arrangement, which sounds close to a one hit wonder charity single, there's also a homemade feel to the video as well with the photo stills swiping across the screen like it's been created by any bog-standard iPhoto or iMovie app. (added to by the home video style sequence of course) Editing does well to keep our eyes busy with a decent selection of shots being used along side including a nice opening sequence although it looks like they may have been running out of ideas by the time they start filming the pet dog. 

There's an attempt to follow the narrative of the lyrics in a visual manner but this errs on the side of being just a bit too long (guitar solo for example) and runs into a bit of unnecessary repetition to fill in the time. 

Best Bit: Highlighting 4-Eyez's varying skills.

Worst Bit: Naff tune with cringeworthy lyrics.

Final thought: Wonder if that tiny square of egg boxes on the wall is really doing anything or is just another homemade attempt to make the room look like a professional studio?

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

Another Film In The Woods ★★★☆☆

Review of 'Another Film In The Woods' which can be found here on Vimeo.  

Length: 09:07

Written & directed by Danny Naylor.

Genre: Horror

Date: 2012
Rating: ★★★☆☆

Logline: A woman is transported into the woods where an evil demon preys on those who have sinned. 

Amber Brookes takes the lead, (trailing off to the shops in her bloomin' pyjamas of all things) and although she delivers what feels like is a naturalistic performance, lacks confidence on screen. Although having characters talking to themselves isn't always the best way to convey information, it kind of suits the protagonists character here so doesn't stand out too much in the grand scheme of things. Dialogue varies between being realistic to being bizarre as exposition on what the heck is actually going on gets delivered through lines which sometimes feel out of place. There's some sound recording problems which leaves some dialogue annoyingly inaudible but the overall sound design works well with the genre with layered sfx's and atmospheric drones, and nice changes in tempo. 

A change to a colder colour scheme marks the arrival of Brookes into the surreal wood landscape and the pacing of the edit is also modified to signify this transition. The running scenes, which are visually dramatic and distorted are good at showing urgency but could also quickly becomes tiresome for the audience as the camera gets frantically jolted around all over the place. Lighting isn't the best and there's a lot of washed out looking shots to be had along with hard to make out blacks. 

The plot is left with a few holes as it's not clear what Brookes has done to deserve her transportation to a reality where demons hunt those who have sinned or how she magically gets out of there and back home. This could do with more clarity in terms of story and character arc to prevent baffling audiences any more than they probably are. Overall, this low to no budget horror lacks scares if it's a horror and laughs if it's a comedy-horror, while the technical difficulties and story flaws distract from a potentially decent short. 

Best Bit: Last scene and Brookes reaction to her ordeal. 

Worst Bit: Werewolf soundbite taken straight from the 'Drive' soundtrack. 

Final thought: No one in real life would throw their precious mobile away after one tiny failure of it to work properly. 

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

Joe And The Genie ★★★☆☆

Review of 'Joe And The Genie' which can be found here on YouTube.  

Length: 14:11

Written & directed by Kieran Moore. 

Genre: Comedy

Date: 2013
Rating: ★★★☆☆

Logline: A jilted boyfriend thinks a weegie genie can help him win back his true love but that's against the rules of magic, apparently. 

If you can get past the shoddy opening sequence, where a tripod certainly wouldn't have gone amiss (apply that to the entire film btw), this is actually quite good fun. This is typical Scottish humour and the good dialogue reflects that. Sean Howie and Bobby Graham play wish-maker and wish-granter respectively and both get into their roles with gusto and are entertaining to watch. Graham stands out as the more comedic but then, he does have the better lines. These two work good together on screen and the Glaswegian banter flows well between them. The terrible sound recording and constant wind blowing into the mic is compensated by the fact all the actors seem to be shouting out their lines. 

Music is used to great effect too, the fantasy jingle works especially well and the music quality helps counteract the bad audio. The exception being that rotten introduction, where no music is used and it's so quiet you can practically hear the camera recording. Visual effects are cheesy but work surprisingly well within this piece where the nice camera quality and vibrant colours help lift this out of the usual drab and dull colour scheme that Scotland often has to offer. The edit is competent enough to keep a good pace as well as accentuating some of the comedic moments. 

With clear attention to structure, good use of the rule of three, and a well defined arc, the work put into writing the script means that all the technical difficulties and not so great camera work are quite forgivable, showing that if your story's good enough, you can get away with a lower level of production no problem. The ending is corny as hell and could maybe have done with more of a comedic punchline, but overall, this isn't as bad as you think. 

Best Bit: Good dialogue and story. 

Worst Bit: That opening sequence isn't a good start for the film.

Final thought: Look at the state of that white van parked next door to the girlfriend. Bringing house values down immediately. 

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

Anne & Juliet ★★★☆☆

Review of 'Anne & Juliet' which can be found here on YouTube. 

Length: 13:40

Written & directed by Carmine Pariante

Genre: Drama

Date: 2008
Rating: ★★★☆☆

Logline: A woman's dream of being a professional photographer is hampered by her guilt over her sisters death and her commitment to run the family business. 

Something isn't working for me in terms of the structure of this drama. It feels like there's perhaps been a missed opportunity to really heighten both the conflict and the emotion by deciding to give more precedence to the reveal instead. While this makes for a fresh perspective on an old idea, without letting the audience in on the protagonist's internal conflict right from the beginning, it means that the effect is somewhat lessened. 

When watching for the first time, the sleeping in the water with clothes on scenes may be seem a little odd and confusing, although the concept is a sound enough way of delivering exposition about the sister's relationship. There's some nice use of symbolism and metaphor as the theme of following ones dream becomes quite literal. 

Isabelle Defuat as Juliet, is competent and engaging. She's good at adding emotion to the well written dialogue. Eleonora Pariante as older sister Anne, is more controlled and rigid but this works well with her icy character. Anne having a much heavier accent than Juliet takes a bit of getting used to but the writing makes sure that audiences can understand why this is. 

The poor lighting lets this down a lot. Internal shots are too dark and the lack of lighting makes this look washed out and dull. In contrast, the external shots, which have relied on natural lighting, are much more vivid and look better. The rest of the production is of standard quality and there's an impressive camera pan in the end sequence. The soundtrack is forgettable but sits nicely unobtrusively in the background when used.

Overall, the underwhelming arc means this remains a bit flat. We don't really see Juliet suffer enough and this means her end success isn't as powerful as it could be. She just looks a bit tired and drained and we don't see how not being able to follow her dream has effected her in a negative way. Other than that, it's okay. 

Best Bit: Second last camera shot and the death scene. 

Worst Bit: Bad lighting

Final thought: I used to like the saxophone. Now I hate it. 

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

DEADline ★★★☆☆

Review of 'DEADline' which can be found here on YouTube.

Length: 07:03

Written & directed by Malcolm Rumbles.

Genre: Horror

Date: 2013
Rating: ★★★☆☆

Logline: A stressed out student suddenly has a good excuse for not doing her essay when a masked attacker goes on a killing spree on campus. 

This is a fairly good example of what can be achieved given a limited time period (or deadline!) to work with. There's a clear 'Halloween' influence going on here which flies straight off the bat with the introductory John Carpenter-esque soundtrack which neatly establishes the tone. The comparisons don't stop there; with a silent masked killer on the loose chasing a likely virginal young lady around and teens having their necks snapped right left and centre, it's a classic film to look at if you're filmmaking on the fly. 

Katrina Allen plays the diligent student who immediately starts typing her essay without first logging in. There's a nice switch to her looking bedraggled and stressed later on but there's too much time spent on these establishing shots and pacing suffers slightly at the start. Once the killer turns up, it gets much more interesting. Allen carries the role well given that this is purely a physical performance as no dialogue features. I really felt that fall in the corridor and her breath holding scene becomes quite powerful thanks to her acting. 

Sound is an important feature of this short. Silence is used to good effect, builds tension and makes the end sequence very effective. There's some nice visceral sound effects added in but the guy with the music blearing out of his headphones was a bad choice as it ruins the built up tension and takes the viewer out of the story momentarily to wonder why we cant hear his voice even though his lips are moving. Similarly, you might feel the silence becomes a little unnatural as there's a lack of screams to be heard, which is a slasher staple. 

Considering the constraints of the limited location which makes this visually uninteresting, not having the greatest lighting, and the sometimes too silent parts means that this is a good effort which is perhaps worth re-shooting with more time spent on it. 

Best Bit: Hold your breath scene. 

Worst Bit: Headphones guy. 

Final thought: Another example of my review process accurately portrayed on screen.  

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

Happy Holidays? ★★★☆☆

Review of 'Happy Holidays?' which can be found here on YouTube. 

Length: 07:40

Written & directed by Steven Patrick. 

Genre: Drama

Date: 2013
Rating: ★★★☆☆

Logline: A night of heavy drinking ends with disastrous results for one married couple. 

This is the next instalment from Scott Watson's team so let's look and see if there's any improvement. There's not much to the plot here. SPOILER ALERT - A guy gets hammered then hammers his wife to death. But the lack of arc is thankfully saved by the public awareness message at the end. Structure is clear with a nice verbal inciting incident, change of tone at midpoint and definite climax. There's a big problem with pacing tho. Everything feels very drawn out. The drinking scene could be about a third of the length and is there really any need for the camera to continue to swirl around the dead wife? Yes, it's building atmosphere, but today's audiences all have my goldfish attention span and may be put off by the repetitive imagery and lack of advancing plot. 

Elizabeth Baillie turns up again along with Craig McEwan, she is by far the more naturalistic of the performers. McEwan sounds like he's come straight from the panto. Baillie's Scottish accent feels more at home than McEwan's River City one. Audio isn't perfect. It's a bit echoey and perhaps too sensitive to movement. Camera too isn't as good as it could be. Handheld probably wasn't the best decision and the last sequence flounders due to McEwan not being in shot clearly as he lies on the sofa. The end music works very well and delivers a sombre tone. The warped Christmas jingle stuff also aids in the "getting pished" scenes where the slow-mo edit also adds to the effect too. 

Without knowing the ins and outs of where this piece was to be shown or who it was for, the long length feels detrimental to the message delivered at the end. If anything, this makes you want to have more drink, not less. Saying that, there's good emotional resonance within the second half of the film. That appears to be one of the strong points of this production unit. They just need to bring their technical skills up to that level too. 

Best Bit: Throttle scene.  

Worst Bit: Really drawn out. 

Final thought: This is quite an accurate portrayal of me watching short films and contemplating having to write a review. 

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

Deception ★★★☆☆

Review of 'Deception' which can be found here on YouTube. 

Length: 20:44

Written & directed by Stuart Mower

Genre: Crime

Date: 2013
Rating: ★★★☆☆

Logline: A bunch of criminals try to outwit each other  

This is a fair attempt at being a twisting tale of deception and double crossing but for the keen eyed audience, there's too many obvious giveaways in the plot, making it less clever as it should have been.

There's good performances from Calum Swan, Rowan Birkett and Alan Cairncross (who looks like the least convincing hardened criminal you can get) but each does well to deliver the suitably well written dialogue, work great together on screen and bring a semblance of professionally to the production. It's a good genre piece; bumbling bad guys, dilapidated locations, guns and shit. (look out for the really plastic looking knife tho) But there's also a mixture of comedy in there too which doesn't work well with the central tone. 

The film feels longer than it should be. A lot of shots could be cropped, not all scenes advance the plot (Cairncross berating his lackey for example) and the camera lingers too long in places. There's a hard balance to keep between building tension, creating atmosphere and keeping audiences engaged which a faster edit could perhaps help improve. 

A major stumbling block in this production is the poor lighting on the external shots and the pub scene. It's hard to make a lot out and as these scenes account for a great portion of the film, it's a real let down for the audience. The internal flat scenes however are much clearer and you can appreciate both the acting and the camera composition a lot more. Really liked the fight scenes where good sound effects plus Cairncross's flowing locks combine together well to add realism (thought the scissors were going to give the hair a bit of a seeing too at one point). Similarly, the subtle make-up on the cuts and bruises has been done to give a nice effect. There's an odd mixture of music on the soundtrack. Some tracks work well, others don't; the pub music and the end credit song for example. 

The plot is okay but as mentioned, it's not too hard to figure out who's double crossing who. The lengthy shot of the lipstick on the mirror in the first scene gives it all away really. Having stupid characters is fine but it's risky when you're making your central protagonist as stupid as the rest of them. It could make the audience feel equally daft for having rooted for him. Overall, there's many points that let this down but had some technical and plot points been executed to a higher degree, this would have made for a good effort. 

Best Bit: The cast and the dialogue.

Worst Bit: Poor lighting on half of the film. 

Final thought: Stuart wants me to email him to tell him I've reviewed his film. Shame on you Stuart. Read the blog. 

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

Pub Dogs - Babies ★★★☆☆

Review of 'Pub Dogs - Babies' which can be found here on Vimeo. 

Length: 01:24

Written & directed by Dave Anderson

Genre: Animation

Date: 2004
Rating: ★★★☆☆

Logline: Some dogs discuss having kids vs having a wife.

This concept is great in theory but it doesn't quite come together that well in practise. Gotta love talking dogs drinking beers and playing pool of course but while this is playing, all I'm imagining, is the real life blokes standing about, probably in much the same positions, doing all the talking. 

It feels really like this is just a fly on the wall audio recording which has been animated. That's all well and good but to me, this could have done with some decent scripting to fine tune it. There's too many instances of people talking over each other, dialogue that can't be made out, and daft ranting that hinders the pace. The dialogue on its own probably isn't that funny. It's only with the well constructed animation on top that any humour is added to the piece. 

The dog characters are created brilliantly. This is very much a 2D animation but there's good attention to changing perspectives, differing shot compositions and some nice details added which all combine to make a good 3D look. The edit brings some much needed action via zooms, pans and quick cuts. Colours are vibrant with good lighting used too. Even though this is a great concept where the visuals have been put together really well, ultimately, it's the poor dialogue that lets this piece down. 

Best Bit: Aw, cute Westie.

Worst Bit: Talking over each other dialogue. 

Final thought: Yeah, pub talk should just stay where it belongs. In the pub. 

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

Big Phil's Piggyback Ride ★★★☆☆

Review of 'Big Phil's Piggyback Ride' which can be found here on MiShorts.  

Length: 05:59

Written by Ciara Clarke. Directed by Andrew Tohill.

Genre: Comedy

Date: 2005
Rating: ★★★☆☆

Logline: A guy down on his luck's optimistic outlook isn't enough to change his fortune. 

This is an oddball tale which falls flat when committing to both genre and theme. It's not funny enough to be a comedy nor dramatic enough to be a drama and the central theme about life being a lottery, or something, is given a conclusion which audiences might not find wholly satisfying. "when your luck changes and your number's are up. Well, anybody can be a winner" are the moot parting words of Jeffery Lockwood, played by capable Jonathon Harden, which are so unmemorable they make for a very bland ending. 

This is a competent production though, and if you can forgive the off-kilter aspect ratio of the uploaded video, there's some good shot compositions, camera movements and it's a well handled edit. Several storytelling devices have been utilised such as intercutting a flash-forward sequence to create tension, voice over to aid the setup and shorten length, as well as some setups and payoffs. 

Harden and Martin Rogan, who plays Big Phil, as with the rest of the cast are all very good, retain the tone of the film throughout and there's no dulling of the Northern Irish accent which is refreshing. Sound design has been done well but continuity slips a little with Lockwood's work rival turning up after been seen sitting downstairs. Why Big Phil doesn't just call an ambulance is questionable and as mentioned, the conclusion is too open ended for me. Plot needs to be ironed out more and made more comprehensible and with emotional resonance. 

Best Bit: Decent put together production.

Worst Bit: The title is terrible. 

Final thought: He littered! He deserves to die! 

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

Matter Fisher ★★★☆☆

Review of 'Matter Fisher' which can be found here on Future Shorts. 

Length: 07:30

Written & directed by David Prosser

Genre: Animation

Date: 2010
Rating: ★★★☆☆

Logline: A fisherman's bounty isn't the fish he's caught, it's the particle of matter inside it. 

A very moody and evocative piece which although scrimping on plot, dialogue, colour and soundtrack a little, makes up for it by giving a haunting cinematic experience. 

Using a monochrome palette which switches between busy dark backgrounds and sparse light ones, there's plenty of depth, range and volume on screen. Shot composition is inventive using a nice range of perspectives covering everything from askew underwater shots to minimalistic aerial ones. There's a sketchy hand drawn style mixed in with a smooth computer generated one here which allows for a lot of movement on screen at the same time. The expressive sleepy movement of the water mimics the slow pace of the film so this is very much a slow burner. The increase in tension is sedate and that build up is kind of let down at the end with the confusing and abstract ending.  

Simplistic character design means the only character in this has no facial expressions or any dialogue. Emotion is conveyed well by body language and a series of grunts. Rich sound design is used instead of a music track and works well in this setting. 

With a clear three act structure, there's a nice visual change at midpoint where the story takes us away from the sea and onto the land. Wasn't sure why the fisherman just leaves his precious cargo in the boat all night after going to such efforts to capture it and logic is thrown out the window as the fellow seems to be the only thing that doesn't get sucked into the ever increasing mass. Overall, while it's a pleasure just to sit back and soak up the oppressive atmosphere, audiences may be left feeling dejected at the lack of oomph at the end. 

Best Bit: Well presented style.  

Worst Bit: Bit of a build up to nothing. 

Final thought: All that water audio also evokes the need to pee. 

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

Not An 'A' ★★★☆☆

Review of 'Not An 'A'' which can be found here on Vimeo.

Length: 04:37

Written & directed by Rebecca Gosnell

Genre: Comedy

Date: 2013
Rating: ★★★☆☆

Logline: After working crazy hard on an essay to please her teacher, a student loses it when she thinks she's not been given a good enough grade.

This silent movie parody is a decent attempt for a young filmmaker and should raise the odd smile. It's a budget-less production so look out for the problems which can come from that. Of course, using black and white was a must but not enough attention was taken on compensating for the lack of colour. It's not perfect, tonal definition wavers and without proper lighting some shots suffer from being too dark while others are too bleached out. Although camera quality is good, there's the occasional out of focus shot in amongst the handheld and static filming. Often too, are badly composed shots where it looks like someones head has been accidentally cut off. An appropriate piano track plays over the top of the action and text inserts and does well to maintain pace and indicate emotional change to the audience.  

There's good use of the rule of three in terms of character, scene structure and overall act structure. Jessica Robinson takes the lead role and excels more than the others. Her performance is the more naturalistic although with melodrama at the heart of silent film, it's hard to tell sometimes. There's certainly some over the top acting going on but that adds to the comedy and is completely forgivable. The Nazi teacher with her single black rubber glove was a good character choice. 60,000 word essay! And that daft Jessica didn't sleep for three days in order to write it when she clearly had a full week. 

The confrontation scene is the highlight with a good effort at an action shot which also creates good comedy (minus points for the continuity errors). Overall, it is what it is, silent film parodies are rubbish at the best of times as it's a cheap way of producing something but this is a nice enough idea and fairly well put together, considering. 

Best Bit: Bitch slap!

Worst Bit: Um, it's all been filmed in a school hasn't it. 

Final thought: Is that a crate full of beers and cartons of juice she's got in the corner of her bedroom? 

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

Women's Boxing ★★★☆☆

Review of 'Women's Boxing' which can be found here on YouTube.

Length: 03:21

Written & directed by Bradford Foyer.

Genre: Documentary

Date: 2012
Rating: ★★★☆☆

Logline: Looking at sporting opportunities for female youngsters in Bradford.

Another doc brought to you by the young people support group, this time telling us all about a sport that's currently been in the headlines a lot recently. Well, it tells us about a couple of schemes that's been developed and shows us some girls punching a lot but it doesn't really delve into the subject much more than that. 

There's a lot missing. The stigma of being a woman boxer, the struggling history of the sport, health benefits and dangers etc. While this is nice and pro-women's boxing, it's not presenting a balanced view and therefore comes off as bland and uninteresting. The sport is a hot topic but this feels like a wasted opportunity and more like a presentation of statistics and facts. 

To be fair, the production is well put together. Plenty of shot variation and cut aways to keep the audience's eyes busy while it takes in the voice over. The movement within the camera also aids the pace and this has been edited together competently. Whoever delivers the voice over narrative does so well and to a professional standard, giving this a news report feel to it. There's enough interviews included to come off as a decent attempt at film making but a more objective selection of individuals would have helped. Overall, yes it's trying to deliver a positive outlook for the long neglected sport but in terms of documentary journalism, lacks impartiality. 

Best Bit: Encouraging message. 

Worst Bit: One sided and not rounded out. 

Final thought: Not a black eye or broken nose in sight. Those primary school girls aren't hitting hard enough!

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

Dream Girl ★★★☆☆

Review of 'Dream Girl' which can be found here at Virgin Media Shorts. 

Length: 02:17

Written & directed by Alice Seabright

Genre: Drama

Date: 2012
Rating: ★★★☆☆

Logline: A stranger falls asleep up against a flummoxed guy on the train. 

It's hard to categorise this one. It's a bit of drama and a bit of romance, but mostly it's designed to simply be a sweet tale and probably nothing more. Of course that all depends on your personal outlook. Some viewers may go "awwww", others will possibly go "eughhh" as in this modern age, the unnamed protagonist, played by Rodney Ndongo-Eyogo, could also be described as being creepy in a stalkerish kind of way. Unfortunately the film ends on this character's decision to go back into the train (as he clearly has nothing better to do) and be the pillow to the immediately comatosed Catherine Dauphin, so we don't get to see her embarrassed reaction on waking up against a complete stranger, which naturally would be the more interesting scenario. 

It feels almost like we're watching candid camera here and that style of shooting adds some depth to the scenario. The film is shot so as to make you feel like you're one of the passengers on the train, and that this familiar scene is something we've likely been in or seen happen before. What adds to that feeling and works well with it, is the lack of soundtrack and lack of dialogue. The filmmaker allows the rhythmic sound of the train and the underground hum to create that sleep inducing atmosphere that all commuters are familiar with and the acting is all in the eyes of the characters here, whether it be avoiding glance out of the window or the acknowledgement from another traveller. The camerawork follows a similar pattern. You can see and feel the hypnotic movement of the train and the edit mimics the look around, blinking eyes of a fellow passenger. These small elements go a long way towards generating a well constructed piece of work but the questionable premise lets it down slightly as does Dauphin's inability to wake up when being prodded. 

Best Bit: Nice decisions of restraint used in this minimalist story. 

Worst Bit: Story had potential but didn't go anywhere.

Final thought: Aye, how come he fights his way through to be the first off the train then when he gets back on it, the place is empty?

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.