Steve The Christmas Freak ★★☆☆☆

Review of 'Steve The Christmas Freak' which can be found here on Vimeo.  

Length: 03:58

Written & directed by Nick Poole. 

Genre: Comedy

Date: 2011
Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Logline: A Christmas obsessed nutter keeps trying to celebrate the festivities much to the annoyance of his flatmate. 

Writer/Director Poole takes on the lead role here but instead of demonstrating his acting abilities, he possibly just be comes across as deranged. Submitted to the CIFA Xmas Shorts Competition, this is a festive story with a twist. Comedy is purely objective of course, but this verges more on the side of being disturbing than funny. (At the same time, it is very laugh out loud) 

Bad lighting makes a lot of the visuals difficult to see so this doesn't get off to a very good start. That's eventually resolved when the annoyed flatmate, Tom McCarthy, turns the light on in the living room. The plot is bizarre and surreal making me think this was probably just thought up during a heavy night of drinking. Poole's character is creepy enough but with plot holes a plenty, it's unclear what this character is actually trying to do. It's all about the punchline here but the daft ending doesn't satisfy. 

Best Bit: McCarthy's contempt for irritating Poole.  

Worst Bit: The wagging tongue. Make it stop!

Final thought: I can only hope no one ever paid good money to watch this. REFUND!

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

Showcase: Domestic Wrestling

'Domestic Wrestling' which can be found here on YouTube.

Length: 02:18

Written and directed by Neil Rolland

Genre: Comedy

Date: 2013

Starring: Kerri Rolland & Tom Wilton

Logline: An untidy bloke feels the unusual wrath of his miffed girlfriend.

The latest effort from Writer/Director/and Short Film Festival extraordinaire Neil Rolland brings us a low budget surrealist comedy featuring none other than his very own wife. While possibly acting out some bizarre fetish, this is also a fun twist on wife beating. I can only imagine what the neighbours must have been thinking when they were filming this. 

Best Bit: Like the costumes.

Worst Bit: That end celebration sequence is awfy awfy long.

Final thought: Possibly concentrate more of keeping the camera in focus too.  

Joe And The Genie ★★★☆☆

Review of 'Joe And The Genie' which can be found here on YouTube.  

Length: 14:11

Written & directed by Kieran Moore. 

Genre: Comedy

Date: 2013
Rating: ★★★☆☆

Logline: A jilted boyfriend thinks a weegie genie can help him win back his true love but that's against the rules of magic, apparently. 

If you can get past the shoddy opening sequence, where a tripod certainly wouldn't have gone amiss (apply that to the entire film btw), this is actually quite good fun. This is typical Scottish humour and the good dialogue reflects that. Sean Howie and Bobby Graham play wish-maker and wish-granter respectively and both get into their roles with gusto and are entertaining to watch. Graham stands out as the more comedic but then, he does have the better lines. These two work good together on screen and the Glaswegian banter flows well between them. The terrible sound recording and constant wind blowing into the mic is compensated by the fact all the actors seem to be shouting out their lines. 

Music is used to great effect too, the fantasy jingle works especially well and the music quality helps counteract the bad audio. The exception being that rotten introduction, where no music is used and it's so quiet you can practically hear the camera recording. Visual effects are cheesy but work surprisingly well within this piece where the nice camera quality and vibrant colours help lift this out of the usual drab and dull colour scheme that Scotland often has to offer. The edit is competent enough to keep a good pace as well as accentuating some of the comedic moments. 

With clear attention to structure, good use of the rule of three, and a well defined arc, the work put into writing the script means that all the technical difficulties and not so great camera work are quite forgivable, showing that if your story's good enough, you can get away with a lower level of production no problem. The ending is corny as hell and could maybe have done with more of a comedic punchline, but overall, this isn't as bad as you think. 

Best Bit: Good dialogue and story. 

Worst Bit: That opening sequence isn't a good start for the film.

Final thought: Look at the state of that white van parked next door to the girlfriend. Bringing house values down immediately. 

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

The Boozy Ballad Of Black Eye And Headbutt ★★☆☆☆

Review of 'The Boozy Ballad Of Black Eye And Headbutt' which can be found here on YouTube. 

Length: 04:26

Written & directed by Greg Elliot.

Genre: Comedy

Date: 2013
Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Logline: A Weegie hard nut bragging about how tough he is has one pint too many and reveals he's really a fraud. 

This is poor on almost every single level. Bad script, shoddy editing, awful acting as well as bad lighting, careless camera work and has tons of continuity errors throughout. Actually, the sound recording is okay and there's at least been some attempt at style with the black and white flashback sequence and graphics insert. And the adequate music track goes a long way to distract audiences from the lacking production. 

Derek Darvell playing Tam "Black eye" O'neal is appalling, staggers lines, makes eye contact with the camera and is a bit like a Glaswegian Forrest Gump. Paul Donnelly is the only thing that stops this from claiming a one-star rating with a semi-descent naturalistic performance but his lips moving to Darvell's lines shows his probable frustration at his hopeless co-worker. 

The trouble with filming in a public place is the countless looks and glances from ordinary people in the background. Although saying that, even the extras at the other tables can't muster the control to hide their smirks and laughter at the main performances. Acting aside, even if this had Oscar winning actors, the story and dialogue just isn't up to scratch. Though the thick Scottish accents give this good character, the plot lacks a good hood or any strong story beats.  

Best Bit: Sound recording.

Worst Bit: Erm, the rest of it. 

Final thought: Look out for vanishing old ladies. 

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

First The Worst ★★★★★

Review of 'First The Worst' which can be found here on YouTube.

Length: 02:14

Written & directed by Bevan Walsh. 

Genre: Comedy

Date: 2011
Rating: ★★★★★

Logline: Two school pupils argue over which of them is the least popular. 

This is a good little short. Well produced, straight to the point and has great performances by a young cast. Gaby Ilagan and Charlie Burton take the helm as the two socially awkward teens each trying to defend their outcast status. 

Superbly written, Ilagan and Burton deliver their lines very professionally and with good comic effect. Camera quality, composition and edit are equally well executed with a good soundtrack being used to highlight the emotional turning points. 

Not much else to say on this one. Like it a lot. 

Best Bit: "It's worse for me, I'm ginger."

Worst Bit: Want more. 

Final thought: Sympathy for the ginger kid. 

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

Big Phil's Piggyback Ride ★★★☆☆

Review of 'Big Phil's Piggyback Ride' which can be found here on MiShorts.  

Length: 05:59

Written by Ciara Clarke. Directed by Andrew Tohill.

Genre: Comedy

Date: 2005
Rating: ★★★☆☆

Logline: A guy down on his luck's optimistic outlook isn't enough to change his fortune. 

This is an oddball tale which falls flat when committing to both genre and theme. It's not funny enough to be a comedy nor dramatic enough to be a drama and the central theme about life being a lottery, or something, is given a conclusion which audiences might not find wholly satisfying. "when your luck changes and your number's are up. Well, anybody can be a winner" are the moot parting words of Jeffery Lockwood, played by capable Jonathon Harden, which are so unmemorable they make for a very bland ending. 

This is a competent production though, and if you can forgive the off-kilter aspect ratio of the uploaded video, there's some good shot compositions, camera movements and it's a well handled edit. Several storytelling devices have been utilised such as intercutting a flash-forward sequence to create tension, voice over to aid the setup and shorten length, as well as some setups and payoffs. 

Harden and Martin Rogan, who plays Big Phil, as with the rest of the cast are all very good, retain the tone of the film throughout and there's no dulling of the Northern Irish accent which is refreshing. Sound design has been done well but continuity slips a little with Lockwood's work rival turning up after been seen sitting downstairs. Why Big Phil doesn't just call an ambulance is questionable and as mentioned, the conclusion is too open ended for me. Plot needs to be ironed out more and made more comprehensible and with emotional resonance. 

Best Bit: Decent put together production.

Worst Bit: The title is terrible. 

Final thought: He littered! He deserves to die! 

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

Not An 'A' ★★★☆☆

Review of 'Not An 'A'' which can be found here on Vimeo.

Length: 04:37

Written & directed by Rebecca Gosnell

Genre: Comedy

Date: 2013
Rating: ★★★☆☆

Logline: After working crazy hard on an essay to please her teacher, a student loses it when she thinks she's not been given a good enough grade.

This silent movie parody is a decent attempt for a young filmmaker and should raise the odd smile. It's a budget-less production so look out for the problems which can come from that. Of course, using black and white was a must but not enough attention was taken on compensating for the lack of colour. It's not perfect, tonal definition wavers and without proper lighting some shots suffer from being too dark while others are too bleached out. Although camera quality is good, there's the occasional out of focus shot in amongst the handheld and static filming. Often too, are badly composed shots where it looks like someones head has been accidentally cut off. An appropriate piano track plays over the top of the action and text inserts and does well to maintain pace and indicate emotional change to the audience.  

There's good use of the rule of three in terms of character, scene structure and overall act structure. Jessica Robinson takes the lead role and excels more than the others. Her performance is the more naturalistic although with melodrama at the heart of silent film, it's hard to tell sometimes. There's certainly some over the top acting going on but that adds to the comedy and is completely forgivable. The Nazi teacher with her single black rubber glove was a good character choice. 60,000 word essay! And that daft Jessica didn't sleep for three days in order to write it when she clearly had a full week. 

The confrontation scene is the highlight with a good effort at an action shot which also creates good comedy (minus points for the continuity errors). Overall, it is what it is, silent film parodies are rubbish at the best of times as it's a cheap way of producing something but this is a nice enough idea and fairly well put together, considering. 

Best Bit: Bitch slap!

Worst Bit: Um, it's all been filmed in a school hasn't it. 

Final thought: Is that a crate full of beers and cartons of juice she's got in the corner of her bedroom? 

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

One ★★★★☆

Review of 'One' which can be found here or at the Reed Short Film Competition.  

Length: 03:00

Written & directed by Dan Hartley and Hayley Gardner

Genre: Comedy

Date: 2013
Rating: ★★★★☆

Logline: Undeterred by lousy parenting, a cute toddler organises a something special for someones very first birthday.

If you've ever wanted to teach your child that it's perfectly okay to create a serious mess, use dangerous kitchen appliances and wander off in public places,  this is how go about it. 

This is a professional looking production with great camera quality, vibrant lighting and nicely composed shots. A jaunty and well fitting soundtrack accompanies little Archie Hartley's baking journey as we get a flurry of well edited together handheld and static shots. The edit keeps a great pace as there's only so many times you can watch a baby grabbing stuff. Also well done on the continuity with Archie trawling the shops alone in his flour covered clothes without an eyelid being batted in the slightest. 

It's a very tongue and cheek tale with a very sweet ending. The other kid that turns up at the end could have had a better setup but on the whole this is a nicely crafted piece of work. Of course, the cakes gonna be riddled with bacteria from baby hands and floor dirt innit. 

Best Bit: That the filmmakers have made a baby cry to get the perfect shot. Hats off.

Worst Bit: Having to hold in the urge to clean my entire kitchen. 

Final thought: Hehe, found mothers secret stash of voddy!

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

Two Ladies And A Hill ★★★★☆

Review of 'Two Ladies And A Hill' which can be found here on Vimeo.

Length: 04:30

Written & directed by Federico Forcolini

Genre: Comedy

Date: 2010
Rating: ★★★★☆

Logline: Two elderly ladies meet up to partake in an unusual sport.  

Here's a quaint and competent film starring the fabulous Doreen Mantle and seasoned actress Christine Ozanne as two buddies engaging in their regular jaunt to SPOILER ALERT ogle partially naked young men. That bit's the twist in a paced out set up which tries to trick the audience into thinking they're merely an old pair of twitchers. 

There's a good on screen rapport between actresses. The two characters verge on being a variation on the odd couple with one being the miserable bossy one and the other the blissfully ignorant one. The dialogue stands out as either being very well written, cleverly performed, or probably a combination of the two. Talking about cheese sandwiches in the middle risks slowing the plot and losing audience interest and is more of a character building scene than anything else. A variation on theme or more of the misleading banter might have fitted in better there. Comedy is subtle instead of in your face laughs but mimics the gentle unobtrusive mood and the twist is a sound conclusion to the story. (Yes am waffling now) 

It's a very professional production with great picture quality, nice range of shots, evocative soundtrack and the sound team have done an excellent job in regards to the external shoot. A slightly shorter version which was cut to fit the Virgin Media Shorts competition can also be found here where it's also been retitled "Coasting". The trimmed down version doesn't feel as though it's lost a great deal and probably has focused the the narrative to a greater extent. 

Best Bit: Dialogue fitting worthy actors. 

Worst Bit: That last line is really on-the-nose and probably unnecessary. 

Final thought: No cycle helmet, hurrah!

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

Witches Brew ★★★★☆

Review of 'Witches Brew' which can be found here on Vimeo.

Length: 03:00

Written & directed by David Lilley

Genre: Comedy

Date: 2013
Rating: ★★★★☆

Logline: Two witches plotting to take over the world have their plans thwarted by a third witch who's preoccupied with finding love instead.

Produced as a submission to the 2013 Reed film competition, this will have been written to fit their remit which this year focuses around the concept of 'Ambition'. This is a fun piece which blends tongue and cheek comedy with a fantasy setting to create a well rounded sketch. 

Acting by all is nicely over the top, almost pantomime-ish, but totally in-keeping with the tone and humour. Anna Gilthorpe takes the lead role of wayward romantic Selena and does a great job of making her character differentiate from the other two typical witches. There's a couple of good laughs in there and the dialogue makes good use of the rule of three structure. I like the writing a lot although suspect it may have looked better on paper as it sounds on screen. 

Location and set design is fab and handheld camera shots and adequate edit do well to cope with the limited space. The soft lighting creates a warm look without being too dark and also helps mask some of the harsh make-up used on the witches. Special effects too are used sparingly and are competent enough to work. This is a dialogue heavy short so music is a less important feature and is kept mainly to emphasise the end punchline which it does well. 

Best Bit: Well done to the art department. 

Worst Bit: Whining voices may grate a little. 

Final thought: Fingers crossed this gets marked well by the competition judges. 

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

What's Virgin Mean? ★★★★★

Review of 'What's Virgin Mean?' which can be found here on Future Shorts.

Length: 02:34

Written & directed by Michael Davies

Genre: Comedy

Date: 2008
Rating: ★★★★★

Logline: A young girl asks her mother a straightforward question and gets an awkward answer in reply. 

This is such a simple idea you'll wonder if you've seen it somewhere else before. Here, there's a great blend of conversation at cross purposes and visual metaphors being used to bring together the comedic situation of an adult explaining sex to a child. 

Kate Isitt plays Mum and Rebecca Duffy her daughter. Isitt shows experience and good comic timing while Duffy is naturalistic and well directed. Dialogue and performance go hand in hand as delivery of the well written text is essential in any comedy. Structurally, all the right beats are struck, the reveal at the end is clever, and there's a smooth pace which never feels rushed given the films short length. 

Nice camera movement helps the small location feel more active and the well paced edit complements that. Music bookends the piece well and the lack of soundtrack throughout brings forward the dialogue which has been recorded without flaw. Similarly, the camera quality is good as is the soft lighting and detailed set design. It all combines to give a very professional look but it's really the concept and performances that shine through as brilliant. 

Best Bit: Nice reveal at the end. 

Worst Bit: Ginger kid! (I can say that)

Final thought: Yeah, WTF does extra virgin mean?

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

The Black Hole ★★★★★

Review of 'The Black Hole' which can be found here on Shorts Bay.

Length: 02:49

Written & directed by Philip Sansom and Olly Williams

Genre: Comedy

Date: 2008
Rating: ★★★★★

Logline: A downtrodden office worker discovers a useful photocopy printout which enables him to reach through solid matter. 

This is a well known short that's been on the go for a while and has won several awards. There is a shortened version out there too which I believe came first prize in one of the 1 minute short competitions. With a cleverly simple idea and competently executed production, it's certainly hard to beat. 

Structurally, it plays on the rule of three's to build dramatic tension which helps hold and increase audience attention. First the minor discovery of the paper cup accidentally falling through the hole, then the progression to using the hole to steal from the vending machine and further on to the bigger plan of stealing from the office safe. A great tool for short films where time is limited. 

Napolean Ryan stars as the sole character and does an excellent job considering there is no dialogue to be had. Ryan conveys deprived and lifeless just as equally well as he does maniacal greed. Kudos also goes to hair and make-up who have done well to give the 'My soul has been destroyed by working in tedious office" look. 

Key to this films success is the concept. The filmmakers have used restraint, not gone overboard and kept the plot basic but brilliant. Although production values are high, it looks like every effort has gone into minimising unnecessary elements; an average inside location, one character, no dialogue, simple special effects etc. It's probably everything a short film should be. 

Best Bit: Cool idea done in a subtle way. 

Worst Bit: How the guy can fit through a hole in an A3 piece of paper???

Final thought: This is the short film idea that we all wish we had. 

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

Pokerface ★★★★☆

Review of 'Pokerface' which can be found here on Daily Motion.

Length: 10:11

Written by John Hales & Carole Budgen. Directed by John Hales

Genre: Comedy

Date: 2005
Rating: ★★★★☆

Logline: A guy with the inability to make more than one facial expression is helped by the guardian angel who let him down as a child. 

This scored high for originality for me. It's a daft plot but unusual and quirky and although not comically outstanding in any way, the oddball story pulls you along. Starring Josh Godard as Jonny, the man with the permanent look of uninterest on his face, and Nick Murray Brown as his three decades out of fashion guardian angel, both do well in their respective roles and at least maintain a modicum of realism while most of the other secondary characters come off as being cartoonish. 

The soundtrack sounds cheap and lets the side down and there are some bad lighting choices but the edit is good, helping pace and keeping in style with the tone of the film. Structure has also been done well, hitting all the right story beats, using setups and payoffs, and fair use of montage. This is a fairly large production for a short with a large cast, numerous locations etc. It's been pulled off well with some nicely planned camera shots and compositions. 

Overall, nice concept, great but not perfect production, likeable character dynamics but stylistically underwhelming. 

Best Bit: Freaky kids party magician (Jimmy Savile style) at the beginning. 

Worst Bit: Not funny enough. 

Final thought: Wonder how many takes they did of the wiggling arse on the tabletop? 

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.

Tunnel Visions ★★★☆☆

Review of 'Tunnel Visions' which can be found here on YouTube.

Length: 02:20

Written by Catherine Adams. Directed by Djonny Chen

Genre: Comedy

Date: 2011
Rating: ★★★☆☆
Official Website here

Logline: Two young singletons silently wonder about each other while commuting on the train.

This is a good idea which never really reaches its full potential. Two strangers on a train, each thinking the same thing about each other, it has plenty of scope for good comedy but the film doesn't quite deliver. 

This short was a Virgin Media Shorts competition submission and I couldn't help think that it had maybe been edited down to fit their time remit. Structurally, there is a good transition at midpoint where the audience discovers that the girl is equally thinking about the boy. But she lacks the daydream that the boy has and she doesn't share the same amount of voice over time as he does. I'd certainly be interested in seeing a full version, if such a copy exists, as I think a better balanced story would bring more to the plot, as it stands. 

Starring Alexandra Vevers and David Wayman as the two characters who fancy each other, their voice overs are their strong points as neither are particularly stretched during the train shots. The black and white fantasy sequence though is another matter entirely. I'm presuming the terrible performances were director driven in order to create a comic effect, but it just looks hammy, unnecessary and awful. 

This may well be a case of a script that reads well on the page but fails once the dialogue has been spoken out verbally. It sounds a bit novelistic and without realism in parts and somehow the acting on screen doesn't emotionally match up with either characters inner thoughts. Saying that, it's all been shot well and the production quality holds it in good stead. Ultimately, it lacks oomph.

Best Bit: Good production values.

Worst Bit: The black and white sequence. 

Final thought: Interesting sound design. 

Read a condensed review of this film on Twitter here.